Whether you’ve been double texting a guy you just met, or thinking about doing so, you may be feeling a bit of anxiety. Oh honey. Take a deep breath, make a tasty beverage, and sit down. Let’s work through this together, okay?
Is it Okay to Double Text a Guy You Just Met?
That depends entirely on context and subject matter. So many people hyper focus on texting “rules” instead of focusing on what’s actually being said.
Let’s say you texted something but your phone autocorrected a word to something else. Double texting usually implies that a stretch of time has passed between messages. If you didn’t notice that you messed up a message until hours later, then it’s okay to send another one to clarify.
For example, if he asks what you’re up to and you respond with an answer, and a clarifying follow-up:
- Text #1 (1:20 pm): “Oh I’m just chilling, and brushing my pet Rabbi.”
- Text #2 (2:30 pm): “OMG I meant my RABBIT! Stupid autocorrect haha”
That’s absolutely okay. In this situation, you’ve made an error and have taken a step to correct the information given, even though it’s been a while since the last text. You’re expanding upon the first one for a reason, not trying to just grab his attention.
Is Double Texting Desperate?
Well, that depends entirely on what you’re texting. If you’re double texting something cute or you’re clarifying something important, then no. In contrast, if you’re double (or triple, or quadruple…) texting specifically because he hasn’t responded and you’re trying to get his attention, then yes.
Here’s an example of a double text that’s considered acceptable pretty much across the board:
- Text#1 (10:30 am): “I hope you’re having a great day!”
- Text #2 (1:05 pm): “Also, if you don’t know this song yet, it’s amazing” (+ link to that tune)
This kind of behavior shows that you’re reaching out, and you’re thinking of him in a positive light.
Just keep in mind that everyone you meet has a lot going on in their own lives. As such, keep double texting to a minimum whenever possible.
Double Texting Rules to Follow
As mentioned, a lot of texting rules depend on context. The following rules are general guidelines, but adapt them to suit your individual circumstances.
Rule 1: Unless You’re Correcting a Mistake, Wait for a Response
If you’re not correcting a mistake within a short period of time, or adding information that you forgot to mention, wait for him to respond. As an example, you can double text if you’re giving him directions, adding to a list, or keeping him apprised of a situation.
Rule 2: Try Not to Send Texts Longer than His
If he’s texting you single sentences, don’t reply with novels. This doesn’t mean that you have to count the number of words he sends and match them—just go by a rough estimate.
Rule 3: Don’t Send Follow-Up Texts Asking Where He Is
Seriously, unless you two have been in a committed relationship for well over a year, and/or are living together, married, etc., don’t go asking him why he hasn’t responded yet. It’s one thing to worry about where your spouse is when they’re a couple of hours late for dinner, and another thing entirely when you text your new boyfriend a dozen times demanding to know why he hasn’t answered you back.
Rule 4: Wait for Him to Respond Before Sending Another Text
Whether he’s read your text or not, it’s considered good etiquette to wait until he response to you before you text again. This is a courtesy rather like waiting for the other person to reply to what you’ve said before you continue talking.
He could be otherwise occupied with a ton of other things, or just doesn’t feel like communicating in the moment. Show him that you respect him (and his personal space) by giving him the breathing room to respond to you on his terms.
What Does it Mean if a Guy Double Texts You?
Once again, we have to look at context.
If your guy is sending you follow-up information to a previous text to expand upon it, then that’s cool. It just means that he’s giving you additional info. Similarly, if he sends you a sweet text and then a funny meme, it likely means that he’s just trying to make you smile. He likes you, so he’s doing something cute to brighten your day.
In contrast, if he’s double texting to demand why you haven’t answered him, then that’s a big red flag. That implies that he expects you to be at his beck and call when he wants, regardless of what else you might be doing at the time.
Additionally, it shows insecurity and neediness on his part. A guy who’s confident in himself isn’t going to freak out and start grasping at you if you don’t text back for an hour or two because you’re soaking in the bath. An even bigger red flag is if he gets aggressive or insulting if you don’t respond quickly enough.
Take a good look at the entire situation in context, and then determine how you feel about the exchange. Your gut instinct will go a long way in terms of inferring his meaning.
Examples of Double Texting
As mentioned before, it’s considered double texting if a fair bit of time has elapsed between texts. Adding info to a previous text like this is okay:
- Text #1 (8 pm): “Yeah, my apartment building is 33 Grape Lane.”
- Text #2 (8:15 pm): “My doorbell is the second one down from the top.”
That’s fine, as long as you don’t send anything else unless he asks.
Additionally, if something serious happened and the guy asked to be kept in the loop, then double-texting is absolutely acceptable. Like this:
- Text #1 (4 pm): “As the hospital with mom now, will keep you informed.”
- Text #2 (7:42 pm): “She’s out of surgery and stable—thanks for being here for me through this.”
In contrast, the following falls under the category of “oh hell no”:
- Text #1 (10 am): “I’m bored, what are you up to?”
- Text #2 (11 am): “???”
- Text #3 (2 pm): “Okay, so I guess you’re doing something more interesting than answering me…”
This one implies that you’re both needy and demanding, and you’re not respecting the fact that he doesn’t feel like communicating right now.
Don’t do it.
Ultimately, when it comes to double texting a guy you just met your best bet is temperance. Try not to do it, and only double text if you absolutely have to (like we mentioned earlier). This will show him that you care about clarity and eloquence, but aren’t demanding his attention.
If you’ve been left on “read” and feel like it’s important to reach out again, then wait three days before sending anything else. After that, absolutely leave the ball in his court. If he texts you back and tells you why he’s been quiet, then that’s awesome. Similarly, if you don’t hear back from him after a week, that tells you a lot as well. If he’s into you, he’ll make a point of staying in touch with you.
With double texting, go by the basic rule of asking yourself whether you would want him to do the same thing to you, and run with your answer.